Friendships

Friend: Noun 1 a person whose company and attitudes one finds sympathetic and whom one is not closely related

Thats the dictionary definiation of Friends. It states the basic truth of friends. What it doesn't tell you is the trouble, the patience, the trust, the secrets and the laughter which being friends with someone is meant to be.

Another way to define Friendships is someone with whom you feel comfortable. A friendship is another way to not find yourself on your own, and it's meant to alienate the feeling of loneliness.

But like any good relationship, you have to work at maintaining them, very much like a garden, weeding out the weeds and nurturing the flowers to make them grow.

When this break down, it all breaks down, and however hard you try to save it, the harder it becomes, because everything is popping up when you turn your back on it.

You try and try to saveage what is left, but you know, deep down that all is lost. It is broken beyond repair. And one thing that once could be fixed is blown out of proportion and makes everything irreverisable.

Friendships have to be nurtured, and have to be allowed to grow. They can become stale and dry like bread, and dead like the bleakest environment on earth.

The smallest thing can crack the ice in the beginning, just as the smallest thing can push it right over the edge.

Letting go is the hardest part, because in the really good relationship, and friendship alike, you don't want to let go of what you once had, and facing up to the fact that all is over, is one of th bravest things anyone can do. Moving is another huge step, and healing can take ages.

But the worst part is knowing that you've lost something really good from your life and you'll never have anything else like it. There will be other relationships and friendships but they all differ from each other, like people.

The fact is, you have to learn to move on with your life. The hardest part has yet to come.

In One of Those Moods!

It's been one of those weeks where you actually look forward to going to school, yet when it arrives you don't want to be there.

So I have been all over the place this week. One minute, I want to be with my mates having a laugh, but when I'm with them I don't want to be there. ARGH! It's one of those things that make you so mad with yourself that you don't know what to do.

Anyway these mood swings have probably cost me a friend this week. I cut over her when she was trying to apologise for winding me up earlier that day. I shouldn't have got wound up, of course, but it's part of my personality, and I did. Anyway she's not talking to me now and probably for good reason because of what I did, and I don't know what to say to my other friends because she is rather popular.

The basics are that I can't seem to keep my temper, or my cool, or anything else recently. Right now for example I want to sit down and weep, but I know I can't because I would be being silly.

I know these are not excuses, but I am Tired, exams are only a week or so away and I've just got off my period. I know they are not excuses for snapping at my friends, but everything mounts up surely.

Benefit of doubt maybe?

Birthday!

It's that time of year, when I can be as happy as I want and no one questions why!

I'm Seventeen on Monday!

Yippee!

Seventeen! OK OK, so the only real extra advantage is that i can drive. And I plan on taking that advantage and running with it!

I can't wait really! I have my first Driving lesson next Thursday! I'm really looking forward to it!

I'm having some friends over tomorrow for pizza and a movie. And I suppose we'll muck around a bit too! Nothing like having friends over to lighten the spirits.

I suppose you're sitting there, reading this and thinking to yourself- She's seventeen, why isn't she having this great big party and total mash up? Well this is because there is more to life than drink! I don't have big parties because I'd have to clear up all the mess.

I am not above drinking as a rule, I just don't see it as necessary to go out every Friday, and Saturday Night and get mashed down the park, where anything could happen. I'm quite happy with simple things such as the Internet, my books, and my music.

You don't need Alcohol to have a good time, and it does so much damage to your body, It's a wonder anyone still has a body left. But to have a really good time, you're mates are the most important thing out there! You can be drunk, and lonely. You can be lonely in a crowd. But with a few really good mates, you can have a fabulous time!

Now I not saying that Alcohol is a bad thing, taken in moderation it can be a good thing, But too much can be bad for you.

Now I'm looking forward to Monday for several reasons;

1. It's My Birthday!! (Obvious)
2. I haven't got Chemistry (YAY! I'm failing and not having Chem on my birthday is a great Birthday Present!)
3. I don't have to go to work (Nuff said)

And Of course, PRESENTS! YAY! The best bit about birthdays!

So as you can see, I can't wait for my Birthday! The one day a year, I would say I'm allowed to be a little selfish!

LOL Just Kidding!

Stef