Mentoring

So in the end it was a bad idea.
I went into the room where they were doing the interviews sat down, and no one know what the fuck was going on.

So I said no.

I'd obviously trod on some toes so I said bugger it. I know I'd be good at it, but i won't do it because you've mucked me- and the others about- so very much that I don't think I can do it.
I mean, what the head of sixth form had in mind for me, was being in charge of mentors, yes but of the year ten mentors who had been specially trained, by one of our Deputy Heads (Well I'm not meant to say that anymore- it's Vice Principle! DON'T ASK!)
And that wasn't something I wanted to do. I mean I'm sure that the Year 10's are nice and everything but I don't think they'd like having to report (Which Is what they'd be doing ) back to someone who's two years older than them.

In my mind it just wouldn't work.

So i said my piece and it was all very well, them saying that I could manage such a job, but with the Library taking up so much of my time, I really couldn't see how it would work.
And i don't feel that I am really appreciated by people outside of the library, and then I get told that it isn't true, but i know it is really.

So anyway, made the point that I'm probably doing more community Service than the others will do in a year. And that seemed to clinch the deal really.
I mean I'd put myself out there for deputy head girl, and then someone who didn't even run for it, got it because they allowed her to run for it. It's like a consolation prize. And I get told, you should go for community captain. And then The Mentoring thing. I was like Fine, I'll do it.
Then I upset everybody on the head team, pissed everybody off, and decided to end it there and then, because there was no point in me wasting what would have been a good talent, and putting something on thee back burner just because of something that would have taken up a very large percentage of my time, and I would have not have had a defined role for.

For once in my life I needed to say no, and be just the tiny bit selfish, because I've been spreading myself so thin, and That school has given nothing back to me, since the day I arrived. Apart from an education.

The thing is that they're still trying to talk me into it, they want to see how a Christmas break has effected my feelings towards this. Well nothing will change. I've put too much out there to have it thrown away again, and this time, this time, I want to be just a little bit selfish, to save myself from myself.

To save myself a little dignity.

The people in that school judge on looks only, which makes me, pretty much at the bottom of the food chain. they don't care whether I'd be good at the job, all they care about is who their friends are and who will give them the best deal.
And it's all very well for the Head of KS5 to say that if she had a choice then i would be on that head team, but I'm not am I? thanks to my peers, I'm on the outside, where they believe that I belong.

So I can't say that I haven't done it, but I have, and I'm quite happy with my decesion thanks very much.

I'll stay where I am in the Library, but Politics is not my forte.


Here it is then, the first rant of 2008, which really should have been written down in 2007, but there you go.
I forgot, plain as.

Stef